You Matter
by Triplet99c
Summary: Donatello feels down in the dumps. But something his family does makes him feel a whole lot better. (one-shot)


What makes an individual say that they care? Is it the fact that they are relatives to you? Is it because you are kind or helpful to them or others? Or is it if you are in a dangerous situation, and your life is on the line, is that when? I do have brothers, three of them, and I try to be as helpful as I am capable of. I'm not in any potential danger at the moment, but at the same time, I do feel there are times my brothers simply do not care about what I do or my well being in general.

I do try my hardest; more than one hundred percent if I can say that. I just want to provide help for my family, whether it be making things to aid our battled with foes or whatnot. But, it is pretty rare when I do hear a "thank you" fall out of their mouths, though I'm not necessarily seeking one. I do these things to help, not to receive things in return.

Though, hearing a simple saying of gratitude would be nice for my troubles. I let out a soft sigh from my nostrils and drop the item I am holding in my hand, which just so happened to be a half-finished pair of night vision goggles, which I had had to redo three times now. These were going to be designed to help us see in dark areas with no light. That way, the enemy could not use any kind of sneak attack. However, I've been working on these for five nights now.

I pushed the goggles aside, feeling my hopes plummeting much like Mikey's hopes when he loses a video game. Though, these hopes are coming from something that will affect my whole family, and not just me. Though, a video game isn't a real life thing to worry about, but virtual.

I know I have to keep trying, but I'm starting to wonder what the point even is anymore, especially when all I have seemed to do is fail as of late. My feeling of not caring was also due to little to no gratitude when it came to my family. Gosh, I do hope that doesn't sound selfish of me, especially when what I do could affect how we do on patrols…

I decided to reward myself for my long period of work by letting myself unbunch my tight shoulders and to lean back against my backrest of my chair and tilt my head back to stare at the grey ceiling above me. But wait...what time was it anyway?

I looked over at my clock, mostly expecting it to be at least 1 am, since I told myself I would try to go to bed early tonight in order to get an extra couple hours of sleep. Though, that obviously did not end up happening at all, considering the red numbers on my clock said it was ten past three. I had completely lost track of time, once again, and I knew if any of my brothers found out, they- especially Leo- would surely nag me about it.

I was so exhausted after staying up for days. I finally decided after much contemplating in my head that I should stop what I am doing and at least lay my head on my table if I didn't want to go to my cot in the corner. I let out a soft grunt, laying my aching head on the cool surface of my table. I turned my head to the opposite side of my project, letting the coolness hit my cheek.

It wasn't until a few seconds after I had laid my head on my table that I noticed something sitting on it, maybe a foot and a half from my head. It was a piece of notebook paper. Was it one of my notes? No, it couldn't be. I put away all my notes this morning. Without even lifting my head, I reached out my three digit hand and slid the paper over to me. It was just a regular piece of notebook paper that had obviously been ripped out of a notebook, probably courtesy to April. Or Casey. Does Casey even _have_ school supplies?

I studied the piece of paper, noticing it had three different paragraphs on the front. It took me a moment to realize that this note was from my brothers, judging by the signatures on the end, and that each paragraph was written in a different font. Why would be brothers consider writing me a note?

I looked over at my night vision goggles parts. Maybe I should work on those...but no, no, reading this will only take a few minutes, and you promised yourself no more working for tonight. I looked back to the note and then to my work in progress again. Maybe I could read it after- oh come on Donnie, just read the letter. It isn't like it'll take you a century and a half to do.

After I quit fighting myself, I decided to read the note before me. I started from the top, of course, like almost every normal person would do. And so, I looked at the words. Leo's words were obviously at the top because his writing was very smooth and elegant. It wasn't completely cursive, but it still had a fluency to it. Raph's appeared to be below his, since the letters were scrawled out block-like. I didn't blame him. Writing with only three digits was fairly difficult. And then Miley's was the last paragraph, and he wrote surprisingly well. Not as elegant as Leo's and not quite as blocky as Raph's. It wasn't written the best, sure, but it had a bubble shape to it, which definitely matched Mikey's bubbly mood.

When did this get here? Then I remembered; I had fallen asleep for about twenty minutes or so this afternoon. Maybe then they slipped in here and put in the note, and generously didn't wake me up. And then I began to read:

 _Dear Donnie,_

 _I have been noticing that you have been in your lab too much lately._

Are you seriously scolding me, Leo? I already know what you think about the time I spend in here.

 _I know that it is important to you to finish things for us to use...but you should not spend so much time in here. It isn't healthy._

I know.

 _Listen, what me and my brothers wanted to say-_

"Now Leo, you do understand it is 'my brothers and I' right?" I thought. I shrugged it off, thinking that finishing this paragraph without my mind interrupting me further was more important than being a grammar nazi. I'll have to correct Leo's grammatical error tomorrow...possibly correct all of theirs.

 _-what me and my brothers wanted to say is that we understand that you mean good. Now, I want to say that you are important to us, Donnie, and we do not want to see you getting yourself sick or worse._

 _I know I do not say this enough-_

'I'm sure you don't.'

 _-But I really appreciate what you do for us, Donnie. Your inventions really do help us and you use your time to help us rather than yourself...and that's so kind._

'Wait...Leo's...acknowledging my work? He cares about it?'

 _You are always putting others before yourself. You are an amazing brother, Donnie. I love you and your brothers do too. Thank you for being you, and thank you for what you do._

 _-Leo_

I stared at the paragraph wide eyed. Were these words really there, or was I just imagining it? Surely they were, because in dreams you can't necessarily read books or text…maybe. I wonder what the other two paragraphs have to say…

 _Hey nerd,_

'Way to start things off, Raph.'

 _So, uh, Leo had a grand idea of writing you a note. To be honest, I thought it was dumb and sappy but now I think this idea is nice. You deserve some kind words, bro._

' _Raph_ being _nice?!'_

 _Anyway, you gotta quit doing things for others all day everyday and do something for yourself for a change, like take a nap or something. I don't know._

'Wonderful advice.'

 _I guess what I wanted to say was you're my brother and I care about you a lot. I honestly don't know what I'd do without ya. Even though you're a geek, you're pretty awesome._

 _-Raph_

Raph was being considerate for once? That wasn't very often. Though, hearing this from him meant the world to me, especially when he wasn't normally the nice type.

 _Ps, get some sleep man, like come on!_

Ah, there was the get some sleep card. Then again, I do admit that I really do need sleep. The lack of sleep has been taking a toll on my not only physically but emotionally as well. Sleep is best, but thanks to my mind I'm not allowed to do so. But I have to try my best. Come on, just get at least five hours. Hey, it's more than I normally get.

I looked at the last paragraph, which was Mikey's, and began to read it:

 _Sup D!_

 _Leo wants us to write a letter for you! And Splinter thought it was a cool idea too. I think it's a cool idea also! Yay! Cool ideas!_

'Cool idea indeed.'

 _Anyways, I wanted to say how awesome you are, bruh! Even though I don't understand what you say sometimes lol_

'Well, I know that Mikey. And what's with the laugh out loud? Never mind that, Miley's being nice. Quit picking this apart, Donnie.'

 _But your techy stuff is soooo cool and I totally wish I could build stuff like you! And we'll always be the most awesome B-Team am I right? The B team is obviously better than the A team! There's more B words than A words, I think! Like best and B team._

'There are definitely more B words, little brother, thousands for that matter. But you're off to a good start with a grand total of one.'

 _Anyway, you're totally cool, D! And smart! And nerdy. You always make me smile! Take care of yourself, dude!_

 _-Mikey, the most awesome turtle EVAH_

I smiled to myself reading Mikey's signature. Leave to Mikey to one-up everyone else. Everyone's words kept repeating in my heads.

' _You're totally cool, D!'_

' _You deserve some kind words, bro.'_

' _I appreciate what you do for us.'_

It has been so long since I heard anything like this...since I heard appreciation for what I do. I could feel moisture build up in my eyes and I hoped that tears wouldn't start dripping out of my tear ducts. The last thing I wanted was for someone to barge in here at 3 am and see tears on my face. But I couldn't help it. I felt so loved and so adored. My smile grew wider and I could feel a tear slide down my cheek despite my silent protests.

I turned the note over, just to see if there was anything else, like a "To: Donnie" or anything. Turns out, there was; a message from my Sensei. There was the fancy cursive I was looking for. And his paragraph was twice as long as my brother's. Looks like I have a lot of reading to do.

 _Donatello,_

 _My son. I am so glad that your brothers have decided to write this for you. We all have noticed that you have not been seeming like yourself as of late. You have been working non-stop and you have been pushing yourself too hard. I notice that you have some issues with self- confidence and so I believe this letter shall benefit you very much._

'It sure did, Master Splinter.'

 _We may not express our gratitudes very often, my son, and I am deeply ashamed of such. We all should praise one another for our success, even if it a small one. I do not know when the last time you heard words of appreciation from your family, but I imagine it was not recently._

'You're right…'

 _You matter, Donatello, even if you do not think the same. You are a piece of our puzzle. Without you, we would never be the same. You complete us as a family. Now, my son, I do hope that this letter has lifted your spirits. Keep this, my son, and look at it in times of need. We all love you._

 _-Splinter_

I look up, feeling more tears fall down my cheeks. All I have wanted for months, or years now was to hear these words. I wanted to know that my family cared. And now I do realize that they do, and that matters so much to me. I re-read the note over and over, each time as impactful as the last.

Completely forgetting about my project, I got up and walked over to a cork board of mine with the hand written note gently grasped in my hand. I took a push pin and carefully pushed it into my paper so that it hung on the board. I stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing a black dry-erase marker from my desk I had just been at seconds earlier, feeling much worse than I do now.

I opened the marker and wrote on my dry erase board next to my cork board. I wanted these words to be here forever and always, just like this note. I put the cap back in my marker and grinned as I stared at my "encouragement wall".

"Thank you guys." I thought to myself while I sniffed, wiping my hand across my watery, brownish-red eyes. "Thank you so much."

I then sat on my cot, finally considering falling asleep as I stared at the boards across the room, the note hanging on one side and the words 'You Matter' hanging on the other.


End file.
